Emva kokuba ufunde ngeFomyula yoNxibelelwano, ngoku masivavanye iindawo zonxibelelwano ngokuziqhelanisasa. Ngokuziqhelanisa, sithetha iintshukumo zokwenza into, ngokuchasene neengcinga, imibono okanye amacebo.

Kumxholo wonxibelelwano, sinento esiyibiza ngokuba “ngumjikelo wonxibelelwano.” Umjikelo uthetha amanyathelo athatyathwe ukusuka ekuqaleni ukuya ekugqibeleni kwento ethile. Umzekelo, ungathi umjikelo wokukhulisa umthi ulolu hlobo lulandelayo: (a) tyala imbewu, (b) uyinike amanzi, (c) nje ukuba iqale ukukhula, uyinike ukukhanya kwelanga kwaye (d) qhubeka uyinkcenkceshela de ikhule ibe sisityalo okanye umthi.

Masithathe umzekelo wabantu ababini abathetha omnye komnye. Ukuyigcina ilula, makhe sibize aba bantu babini ngu-A no-B. Kukho umjikelo wonxibelelwano apho u-A athetha into ku-B, u-B uyayiqonda kwaye uyayiphinda into ethethwe ngu-A kwaye emva koko u-B acknowledges u-A. U-A ufumana i acknowledgment kwaye uyazi ukuba uviwe kwaye waqondwa. Lo ngumjikelo wonxibelelwano.

Ngoku makhe sihlole okwenzekayo xa unxibelelwano lwenene lusenzeka. Kukho iindawo zomjikelo wonxibelelwano ekufuneka zifakiwe ukuze ube nonxibelelwano olufanelekileyo.

Njengoko sifundile kwiFomyula yoNxibelelwano, kufuneka sineNjongo kunye nokunika iNgqalelo, noPhinda-phindo, ukuze unxibelelwano olulungileyo lwenzeke.

Kumzekelo wokuqala obonisiweyo kulo mzekeliso ungezantsi, sineNjongo ka-A. U-A kufuneka kuqala abenenjongo yokuthumela unxibelelwano ku-B. Xa oku kusenzeka, u-B kufuneka anike iNgqalelo kwinto aza kuyithetha ukuze ayive.

Ukuze ibe lunxibelelwano oluyinyani, uPhinda-phindo luka-B kufuneka luthathe indawo yomyalezo ovela ku-A. Masithi u-A uthi, “Leyo yimoto ebomvu.” U-B kufuneka aphinde into ebithethiwe kuye ungacingi ukuba u-A ebetshilo, “Ayikude kakhulu.”

U-A, kunjalo, ukuqala nokuhambisa unxibelelwano, ukuba anike iNgqalelo yasekuqaleni ku-B. Kwaye u-B kufuneka anike iNjongo ethile kolu nxibelelwano, ubuncinci ukumamela okanye ukufumana.

Ke sino Nobangela u-A kunye neSiphumo u-B, sinayo iNjongo kunye neNgqalelo.

Enye indawo yale nto ebaluleke kakhulu luPhinda-phindo. Oku sikwabiza ngokuba “sisivumelwano.”

Isixa semvumelwano ekhoyo phakathi kuka-A no-B kumzekelo wonxibelelwano onikezwe apha ngasentla ubonakalisa ukuba bavumelana kangakanani.

Makhe sithathe umzekelo wabantu ababini abathetha ngomculo abawuthandayo bobabini. Kukho uphinda-phindo olunamandla kunye nezivumelwano ezininzi kwaye banokulandela ngokulula ngelixa benxibelelana ngeengoma abazithandayo nabazimamelayo.

Kodwa thatha, umzekelo, umntu oye waphila ubomi bakhe bonke entlango kwaye engazange walubona ulwandle okanye ichibi. Umntu othetha naye malunga neziganeko ezenzekileyo kwisikhephe esincinci kulwandle olunesaqhwithi kunokubanzima ukufumana uphinda-phindo loko kuthethwayo, njengoko umntu wasentlango engazange alubone ulwandle. Aba bantu babini babengekhe babelane ngesivumelwano de mhlawumbi umntu wasentlango aboniswe umfanekiso wolwandle okanye, nangcono, ifilimu okanye ividiyo ngayo.

Ke sifumana umthetho wokuba u-B, njenge Siphumo, kufuneka enze uPhinda-phindo koko kwathethwa ngu-A, njengo Nobangela, nokuba yinto nje encinci, ukwenza ukuba inyathelo lokuqala lomjikelo wonxibelelwano lenzeke.

Xa u-B eyiqonda le nto ithethwayo ngu-A kwaye emnika i acknowledgement, emva koko u-A uba siSiphumo kwaye kufuneka aPhinde oko kuvela ku-B ukuze unxibelelwano lube nokugqitywa. Ukuba oku kwenziwe, kunokwenzeka ukuba u-A no-B baya kuhlala kakuhle.

Ukuthatha lo mzekelo ungentla, masithi ubonise lomntu ovela entlango imifanekiso ethile kunye nefilimu yaselwandle emfutshane. Unokuzisa uPhinda-phindo lwento ebethetha ngayo kwaye ukwazi ukuqhubeka nonxibelelwano kunye naye, echaza indlela umoya onokwenza ngayo ukuba amanzi aqhubeke ngamaza, kanye njengomoya onokwenza ukuba isanti yasentlango ijikeleze. Ufumana le athi, “Kulungile, ndiyaqonda.”

Ukuba olu Phinda-phindo alwenziwa ngu-B kwakhona nangu-A, umjikelo wonxibelelwano uhlala ungaphelelanga.

Ukuba, umzekelo, u-B aka Phindi into ethethwa ngu-A konke, inyathelo lokuqala leFomyula yoNxibelelwano alifezekanga kwaye uninzi lokuchaza kunye nokuxambulisana lunokwenzeka.

Masithi lomntu wasentlango ucinga ukuba uthetha ngenkamela xa umxelela ngendlela owawusihambe ngayo isikhephe elwandle kunye nesikhephe sihamba ngapha nangapha. Masithi aka Phindi konke konke. Ke xa umxelela ukuba ungabopha nje isikhephe awushiye apho sele ugqibile kwaye kungaze kufuneke ukuba usondla okanye usinkcenkceshele (njengoko enokwenza kwinkamela yakhe yonke imihla xa egqibile ukuyikhwela), caphuka kwaye uzame ukufumanisa ukuba ingahlala njani iphilile ngaphandle konakekelo olufanelekileyo.

Ke ukuba u-A aka Phindi izinto ezithethwe ngu-B, xa u-B engu Nobangela kwaye ethetha no-A, oku kuya kuzisa ingxaki efanayo kwaye kwenze umjikelo wonxibelelwano ungapheleli. Kwaye, kwakhona, kuya kubakho uPhinda-phindo.

Umzekelo, umntu wasentlango iqala ukuthetha nomntu malunga neendidi zesanti enkangala xa loo mntu engazi nto ngalo mbandela kwaye engazange wabona nokuba yintlango.

Xa onke amanyathelo omjikelo wonxibelelwano agqibile, kuya kubangela ukuba u-A kunye no-B baqonde omnye komnye kwaye babe kakuhle. Kodwa ukuba amanyathelo ashiywe engaphelelanga, siya kuba no-A okanye u-B, okanye omabini, silinde amanyathelo ukuba agqitywe. Ngale ndlela, unxibelelwano luyacaphuka kwaye lube yingozi.

Umzekelo, ukuba ubuza umntu ukuba leliphi na ixesha kwaye loo mntu akakuphendulanga, uya kuziva ukhathazekile kukungakwazi ukugqiba umjikelo wonxibelelwano.

Amanyathelo angacacanga kumjikelo wonxibelelwano azisa oko kunokubizwa ngokuba “kukuphendula yindlala.” Umntu olinde umqondiso wokuba unxibelelwano sele ulufumene uyakuqala ukwamkela naluphi na unxibelelwano oluza kuye. Xa umntu elinde ixesha elide ukufumana iimpendulo ezingafikiyo, naluphi na uhlobo lwempendulo, oluvela naphi na, iyakwamkelwa nguye njengemizamo yesibonelo sokungabi nazimpendulo.

Ke kunxibelelwano olulungileyo, kubalulekile ukuba usoloko ugqibezela umjikelo wonxibelelwano kwaye ubandakanye imiba yonke yeFomyula yoNxibelelwano.

Kodwa kunokubangela ukuphazamiseka xa impendulo enikiweyo ingahambelani nento ethethwayo, njengaxa umntu encokola nje okanye i yakking okanye xa kungekho mpendulo inikiweyo. Khawufane ucinge xa ​​ubuza umntu ukuba ngubani ixesha asuke athi kushushu kakhulu kwaye uziva engonwabanga.

Unxibelelwano ngokwalo luyingozi kuphela xa unxibelelwano luvela ku Nobangela ngequbuliso kwaye lungenanto yakwenza nento eyenzekayo okanye exoxiweyo ngelo xesha. Xa oku kusenzeka, iindawo ezimbini zefomyula, iNgqalelo kunye ne iNjongo, azihoywa.

Umzekelo wale nto ungaba kuxa uthetha neqela labantu malunga nokuba intsimi ibukeka intle kanjani inazo zonke iintyatyambo nemithi njankwaye kwaye ngequbuliso omnye wabantu kwiqela aqale ukukhalaza ngokunyuka kwexabiso leoyile kunye nokuba kubiza kangakanani ukuqhuba imoto yakhe.

“Umdla” ikwayinxalenye ebalulekileyo yonxibelelwano. Umdla uthetha ukuba unikela ingqalelo kwinto. Umdla uthetha ukuba wenza izinto ukuze ufumane kwaye ubambe ingqalelo yomnye umntu.

Kunxibelelwano olulungileyo, u-A unomdla kwaye une Njongo zokutsala umdla ka-B. U-B, ekuza kuthethwa naye, uba nomdla. Ngokufanayo, u-B, xa enxibelelana, unomdla kwaye u-A unomdla. Apha sinayo, njengenxalenye yeFomyula yoNxibelelwano—kodwa engabalulekanga kangako—utshintsho oluqhubekayo olwenziwa ngu-A kunye no-B ukusuka ekubeni nomdla ekubeni nomdla.

Unobangela ngumdla. Isiphumo ngumdla.

Okona kubaluleke ngakumbi kukuba iNjongo ka-A ifunyenwe ngu-B, yenza ukuba ibe noku A Phindaphindeka (iyakwazi ukuphinda phindwa). Ukuba u-A akakwazi uku Phinda-phindeka, ngokuqinisekileyo unxibelelwano lwakhe aluzukufunyanwa ngu-B, kuba u-B, engakwazi uku Phinda u-A, akanakulufumana unxibelelwano.

Njengomzekelo woku, masithi u-A uthetha ngesiTshayina, kodwa u-B ukwazi kuphela ukuqonda isiFrentshi. Kuyimfuneko ukuba u-A azenze Aphindaphindeke ngokuthetha isiFrentshi ku-B, oqonda kuphela isiFrentshi.

Okanye, umzekelo, ukuba ubuthetha nomntu oselula ukumcacisela indlela esebenza ngayo into ethile, unokusebenzisa amagama alula kunye neziqwengana zento okanye imizobo (imizobo elula) ukuze akwazi ukulandela kunye nokuphinda oko ukuthethayo.

Isishwankathelo, ukuba onke amacandelo e-Fomyula yoNxibelelwano afakiwe kwaye umjikelo wonxibelelwano nawo ugqityiwe, unonxibelelwano oluhle kwaye uya kuqondwa ngabanye. Le yindlela yokunyusa ulonwabo kunye nempumelelo.

Kwaye khumbula, umntu ungofileyo njengoko engakwazi ukunxibelelana. Ungophilayo njengoko enako ukunxibelelana.