Lomzuzu uba nomsindo kumntwana wakho onomsindo okanye uzame ukumnyanzela ukuba akuthobele, uya kugqibela enakho ukungakhathali (engakhathaleli nantoni na).

Umntwana angadlula kwiimvakalelo ezininzi, ezinjengoku chwatiya, umsindo, ukoyika, ukulila, usizi, njl., ngokukhawuleza. Uya kuziva onwabile kusenjalo, kungekudala, abe nomsindo kwinto ethile.

Kodwa kuwe ukuba nomsindo emntwaneni wakho akulunganga. Ungumntwana omncinci kwaye, kuye, ufana nendoda ephakamileyo. Ujongeka kuye ngokungathi unamalunga neemitha ezingamashumi amabini anesibhozo ukuphakama kwaye unobunzima beetoni ezininzi!

Masithi inkwenkwana ithi kuwe, ngomsindo, “Andithandi ukuba undixelele aba ndenze ntoni!” Kwaye ekuphenduleni, wena, esi silo sikhulu kuye, ufikelela phezulu kwaye uthi, “Awunakuthetha nam ngoluhlobo!” Kwaye emva koko unokumsongela ngokumbetha. Kodwa ukuba wakhe wayenza loo nto, umntwana wakho uya kuvakalelwa kukuba akanalo ithuba ngakuwe kwaye usengxakini enkulu.

Ukuba umphatha kakubi umntwana wakho, unokumtyhalela phantsi ukuba abe nomsindo emva koko, ukuba uba nomsindo kuye xa esenomsindo, uya kumqhubela ngakumbi ade afikelele ukungakhathali.

Kutheni umntwana eba nomsindo? Umzekelo, mhlawumbi umntwana wakho ufuna into ethile—uzama ukwenza okanye afumane into. Ngesizathu esinye okanye esinye, akayifumani, ke uzama nzima ngakumbi. Akakwazi nangoku ukuyifumana yaye ke ubanomsindo. Kwaye ke, emva koko azame kwakhona ngelixa enomsindo kwaye angakwazi ukulufumana, afikelele ukungakhathali.

Nanku umzekelo oqhelekileyo wento eyenzeka rhoqo:

Umntwana uthi, “Mama, ndifuna ukuya kuqubha.”

Umama uphendula athi, “Awukwazi ukuhamba uyoqubha.”

Umntwana ke athi, “Kungabhetele undiyekele ndiyo kuqubha. UJimmy Jones uyoqubha.”

Umama abe nomsindo aze aqale ukukhwaza umntwana, “Hayi, awukwazi kuyoqubha!”

Kwaye, ngequbuliso, umntwana uba nomsindo aze acaphuke kakhulu.

Aze athi, “Kodwa bendingafuni ukuhamba ndiyokuqubha.” Into elandelayo uyazi, into ehlekisayo inokwenzeka. Umntwana unokuqalisa ukukuxelela, “Andithandi ukuqubha.” Oku luthetha-thethwano (ukwala okanye ukwala into okanye umntu), enokwenzeka ebuntwaneni. Umntwana ucinga ukuba, “Andinakuba nayo, ke nam ngokunjalo mandilibale ngayo. Andiyifuni!” Oku kunokuqala ukwenzeka njengesiqhelo.

Umzekelo, umntwana uzama ukufumana okanye ukwenza into, kodwa akakwazi. Ubanomsindo. Emva koko athi enyanini ubengayifuni kwasekuqaleni. Ke, njengokuba umntwana ewela kule patheni yokukhanyela, uya kuba nengcinga yokuba ufuna into ethile kwaye ngokuzenzekelayo atsibele ngaphaya komsindo angene ukungakhathali. Unengcinga, “Ndingathanda ukuya kuqubha. Andikwazi kuyo kuqubha.” Oku kukhawuleza kube, “Ndingathanda ukuya kuqubha. Andikuthandi ukuqubha.” Kwaye okokugqibela, njengoko ewela kukukhanyela okuzenzakalelayo, yi, “Nyana, yimini entle eshushu. Ndingathanda uku—andikuthandi ukuqubha.”

Indlela aqala ngayo ukukhanyela inokwenzeka ngokukhawuleza okukhulu. Wenza nje le nto engakhange acinge. Uzama ukucacisa ukuba kutheni engakuthandi ukuqubha. Akuxelele, “Ndikuthiyile ukuqubha ngokwam. Andikaze ndiye kuqubha.” Emva koko athi, “Kwakukho inkwenkwana esikolweni sethu ephantse yaminza.” Kodwa ekuqalekeni, ebekuthanda ukuqubha kwaye wayefuna ukukwenza. Wamiswa nje waxelelwa ukuba akanako, yaye akakwazi, ke emva koko uye wangena wangenela ukungakhathali kwaye wakukhanyela oku.

Ke khumbula, ukuba uba nomsindo kumntwana wakho xa enomsindo, unokulindela ukumbona ehamba ixesha elide lokukhanyela.

Kuya kufuneka wazi ukuba wenze ntoni ukuthintela oku.

Ukujongana noMntwana onoMsindo

Ngaba ukhe wazama ukufundisa umntwana wakho xa enomsindo kuwe?

Ayizukusebenza.

Impendulo eqhelekileyo evela kubazali ihlala ikukuba bazicaphukise ngomntwana ngokwabo. Kuphela oko nakho akusebenzi.

Ukuze ufundise umntwana wakho ngempumelelo, nokuba enomsindo, eneneni ikho into elula kakhulu onokuyenza. Masithi umntwana oko enomsindo okwexeshana. Ukuba nje ufumana umntwana ukuba achukumise izandla zakho, esinye emva kwesinye, kwaye mhlawumbi umenze achukumise inqaku lempumlo yakho, uya kufumanisa ukuba ukucaphuka kuza kuhamba nje ngomlingo kwaye awusayi kuthetha nomntwana onomsindo.

Wenza kanjani umntwana onomsindo ukuba achukumise izandla kunye neempumlo zakho? Kusenokufuneka umcenge kancinane, kodwa musa ukumqumbela. Sebenza nje kuyo. Kungekudala uza kudlala kunye ayeke ukuba nomsindo. Emva koko uya kuba nakho ukumfundisa okuthile!

Umthetho wegolide kukuba ungaze ube nomsindo ku mntwana onomsindo.