Abantu bafuna indawo engasongeli kangako, noma okungenani indlela yokusinda kangcono imvelo abahlala kuyo.

Umuntu unakho konke okukhonjwe (kwenziwa kwabonakale kufana) naleyo ngxenye yemvelo esongelayo. Uma umenza ukuba ahlukanise (akwazi ukusho umehluko) bese uthola ukuthi kunezingxenye ezithile zemvelo ezingasongeli, uzothuthuka kakhulu.

Umbono nje wokuthi ubheka imvelo iyingozi futhi ixakile futhi akazi ukuthi leyongozi ivela kuphi—ngalowo mqondo uwodwa uyinqaba enkulu yokuhlakanipha. Akukaze kwenzeke kuye ngaphambili. Ubelokhu ezwakala nje, ngaso sonke isikhathi.

Ungamsiza ngokumhlola ukuthi ahlole ezinye izindawo zemvelo yakhe futhi aqaphele ukuthi zenziwa zaba yingozi kakhulu kunokuba zinjalo. Ukuhlola ukubheka noma ukuhlola okuthile ngokucophelela.

Umzamo wakho ukumenzela ukuthi ahlole imvelo yakhe futhi athole ukuthi iqukethe izinsongo ezingatheni njengoba wayekholelwa.

Konke umuntu okumele akwenze ukutadisha imvelo yakhe kancane.

Imiphumela ingamangalisa. Ukuphaphama kwakhe ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo kungathuthukiswa. Ungasenza ngcono isifiso sakhe kanye nenani lomsebenzi azibandakanye kuwo. Impilo yakhe empeleni ingathuthuka kancane.

Yini ayilindele? Kungenzeka kube yilokhu kuphela: ukuthi angethuki nje lapho insimbi yomnyango ikhala. Manje sikhuluma ngentuthuko encane kakhulu. Kepha noma kunjalo, lokhu kuthuthukiswa bekuzoba ngokoqobo olukhulu kuye.

Uma evuka ekuseni akanawo umuzwa wokukhathazeka wokuthi kukhona into enyantisayo eyenzekayo. Lokhu kungahle kunganyamalali, kepha mhlawumbe kwehliswe kancane. Uzoba matasa ngokwengeziwe empilweni.

Kungenzeka azuze okuningi kunalokho akulindele futhi kungaphezu kwalokho akulindeleyo.

Nazi izinqubo ongazisebenzisa ukwenza lokho:

1. Ungafundi Iphephandaba Amaviki Amabili

Tshela loyo muntu, “Musa ukuwafunda amaphephandaba amasonto amabili futhi uzozizwa engcono.”

Uma engawafundi amaphephandaba amasonto amabili, nakanjani uzozizwa engcono.

Bese umtshela ukuthi, “Manje funda iphephandaba isonto lonke, kuthi ekugcineni kwalelo sonto uzithole uzizwa kabi. Ngemuva kwalokho cabanga ukuthi kufanele unake amaphephandaba noma cha.”

Lokhu kungenziwa njengokuzama okulula. Akusona isilingo esibizayo—empeleni, kushibhile ukungathengi amaphephandaba kunokuwathenga.

2. Bheka Ngokuzungeza Imvelo futhi Thola Okuthile Okungayona Izisongo

Mtshele:

“Abheka indawo ezungezile futhi uthole okuthile okungekho ekusongeleni.”

Noma ake sithi umuntu ukhathazeke kakhulu ukuthi izinto zizokwehlela. Mtshele:

“Bheka lapha futhi uthole okuthile okungekho okuzokwehlela.”

Ngemuva kwesikhashana, mhlawumbe, wayezothola into eyodwa kwenye indawo. Kumele umenze athole into eyodwa engeke iwele kuye futhi ezizwe engcono. Angahle aqaphele nokuthi wayecabanga ukuthi konke kuzokwehlela. Usekutshelile vele lokhu, kepha manje useyakwazi ngokuhlola imvelo.

Ubuza lo mbuzo kuze kube yilapho umuntu ejabule noma ephumule futhi eseqaphele ngaye, imvelo noma impilo jikelele.

Wonke umuntu unemvelo ehlukile kubo bonke abanye abantu, ngakho-ke kungenzeka ukuthi uguqule amagama. Nasi isibonelo sokubekwa kwamagama okungalungile, noma kunjalo: ake sithi umuntu ukhathazeke kakhulu ngento eyenzeka eChina. Ukusho, kahle “Yini, izinsongo amaShayina ake akukhathaza ngakho, noma kunjalo, kungani ukhathazeka kangaka?” akusebenzi. Manje kufanele abonise futhi achaze okwakhe ukucabanga. Kufanele azithole ebanjwa ukuzama ukufakazela ukuthi ulungile futhi unephutha. Ngakho-ke sebenzisa amagama anikezwe ngenhla, uwaguqula uma kudingeka.

Ungasebenzisa le ndlela kuwe. Ungahle ukhathazeke kakhulu ngenkinga onayo. Ungazibuza:

“Kukhona okukhona okungangicindezeli le nkinga?”

Kungakuthatha imizuzu embalwa ukuthola umbuzo uphenduliwe.

Noma kungenzeka ukuthi uhleli etafuleni lakho unamaphepha amaningi. Yonke into ibonakala isezingeni. Ideski lakho limbozwe ngamaphepha afuna ukunakwa kwakho. Kufanele ukwazi ukubheka amaphepha edeskini lakho. Bangumthombo wosongo. Thola okuthile ngabo okungeyona ingozi. Usongo luzolinganisa ekutholakaleni.

3. Thatha Uhambo

Enye indlela yokwenza umuntu abheke imvelo bese ethola ukuthi ayisongeli kangako yindlela ebizwa ngokuthi “Thatha Uhambo.” Uma umuntu ezizwa kabi, mcele ahambe futhi abheke izinto njengoba ehamba. Kufanele azibheke ngempela.

Isizathu sokuthi lokhu kusebenze ukuthi umuntu athole ukuthi imvelo kayisongeli.

“Thatha uhambo ubheke izinto” yiseluleko esihle kunazo zonke ongasinikeza noma ngubani, futhi cishe nakanjani uzokhiqiza umphumela uma umuntu enza lokho. Kuyasebenza impela.

4. Thola Okuthile Okungakulimazi

Umuntu unomuzwa wokuthi abantu banobutha kuye (abunabungane noma bakhombisa ukungamthandi) kuye. Mbuze:

“Thola okuthile abantu abakushoyo noma bakwenzayo lapha okungalimali kukho.”

noma

“Kukhona umuntu munye enhlanganweni onganalo yini uzungu?”

noma

“Ngabe kukhona okushiwoyo namuhla okungazange kukuzonde ngokushesha futhi masinyane?”

Qhubeka nalokhu kuze kube yilapho umuntu ezizwa engcono, ejabule kakhudlwana futhi esethole ukwazi ngaye, imvelo noma impilo jikelele.

5. Ukuphatha Nokulahleka

Umuntu osanda kulahlekelwa yintombi yakhe, noma umfazi olahlekelwe yindoda yakhe, uzwa usizi olubi nosizi lokulahlekelwa kwalo kunikeza konke. Konke okusemvelweni kuzokhuluma naye ngezothando olulahlekile. Isikhathi esithile, ngeke kwenzeke ukuthi aqalaze angakhunjuzwa ngalo muntu.

Lapho ukunakwa komuntu kuye kwaba kukhulu komunye umuntu, kwesinye isikhathi kuba nzima kakhulu, ngeke ukuxhumanise konke nalowo muntu. Into okufanele yenziwe ukuthola into engamkhumbuzi umuntu lowo olahlekile. Angase afune indlela ende ukuthola okuthile.

Le yindlela yokululama kusuka othandweni. Umuntu ukhombe konke okusemvelweni ngokucasuka kwakhe. Ngokuqondisa ukunakwa komuntu ezintweni ezisendaweni engaxhumekile kangako futhi umenze athole izinto ezingamkhumbuzi ngenkuthalo, uthola umehluko (ikhono lokubona umehluko phakathi kwezinto ezimbili noma ngaphezulu). Ngaphambi kwalapho, bekukhonjwa indlela (mayelana nento efana ncamashi nenye). Lapho umehluko ukhona, ubuhlakani nokwahlulela kungabuya.

Mtshele, “Thola okuthile okungamkhumbuzi ________ (igama lomuntu elahlekile).”

Qhubeka uthole lo muntu ukuthi athole okunye okungamkhumbuzi lowo muntu aze azuze futhi azizwe engcono.

6. Ukuhlela Ukuphila Komuntu

Ngokwenza umuntu ahlele impilo angaphila ngayo ezothile futhi engenampilo, impilo ayiphilayo ingaba yingozi engatheni.

Ake sithi umuntu kufanele agcine umsebenzi wakhe yize kungakhokheli ngokwanele. Alikho ithuba lokuthola enye into. Uthola ukuthi le ndawo inobutha kakhulu. Le ndoda isebhokisini elenzelwe yena.

Menze ahlele impilo engeke isongele kangako, noma ngabe uyihlela ngokuxakile noma ukuthi uyiphupha kanjani. Uzokwazi ukuqhubeka nokusebenza emsebenzini wakhe ngenjabulo futhi ezothile.

Inkinga eyisisekelo umuntu abenayo ukuthi angangena kanjani esimeni esisongela kancane noma, uma engeke akwazi ukwenza lokho, ukuthi angabhekana kanjani kangcono nalokhu anakho.

7. Ukungqongqotha Izinto Ezibangela Ukukhathazeka

Lokhu ukwenza ukuthi umuntu ayeke ukwenza izinto ezimcasulayo noma ayeke ukukhuluma nabantu abamcasulayo.

Ungasho kumuntu ukuthi, “Qoqa ezinye zezinto empilweni yakho ezikwenza ukhathazeke.”

Noma ubuze, “Ubani okucasulayo? Musa ukukhuluma nabo isikhashana.”

Noma umbuze, “Yimiphi imisebenzi ekwenza uzizwe kabi? Kahle, ungazenzi okwesikhashana.”

Noma ungambuza, “Ukuthi yiziphi izinto emvelweni ezingezona izinsongo kuye? Kulungile, unazo ezinye zazo? Kuhle. Zihlanganise nalabo. Zinake kakhulu.”