Elinye inqaku elibalulekileyo ekudaleni umtshato ophumelelayo, okanye ukulungisa lowo sele uqalile ukuwa, lunxibelelwano.

Unxibelelwano sisiseko sempumelelo yomtshato apho umtshato owomeleleyo unokukhula khona. Ukungabikho konxibelelwano kuye kubangele ukutshabalala komtshato.

Kuqala nje, ukukhetha iqabane lomtshato elifanelekileyo kungabanzima kakhulu. Ngaphandle koqeqesho olusisiseko ngendlela yokugweba ubuntu bomntu okanye ukubanako ukupheka okanye ukukhulisa usapho, uninzi lwabantu lusebenzisa kuphela into ebizwa ngokuba “luthando” ukubanceda benze isigqibo sokuba ngubani aza kumtshata. Kwaye “uthando” lungaqhatha kwaye kunzima ukuluqonda.

Akumangalisi ukuba abantu bahlala bekhetha iqabane elingalunganga.

Kodwa zikho iindlela ezilula zokungakhethi iqabane lomtshato kuphela, kodwa kwakhona uqiniseke ukuba umtshato uyaqhubeka. Baxhomekeka, rhoqo, kunxibelelwano.

Kufuneka kubekho ukufana kubukrelekrele kunye nengqondo phakathi kwendoda nomfazi ukuze babe nomtshato ophumelelayo.

Kulula ukufumana isiseko ngemfundo yeqabane elinokwenzeka ibeliqabane lomtshato. Akululanga kangako ukusebenza ukuba loo mntu akwazi ukwabelana ngesondo okanye ukukhulisa abantwana. Kodwa kunjani ngokugweba ubunyulu bengqondo yomntu?

Kwixa elidlulileyo bekukho iindidi ezahlukeneyo zovavanyo lokufumanisa ubunyulu bengqondo yomntu. Ezinye zazinzima kangangokuba kuye kwafuneka ibe ngumlingo okanye usebenzise inkqubo ekhethekileyo yekhompyuter ukuqonda iziphumo.

Kwi Scientology, nangona kunjalo, lukhona uvavanyo lwengqondo olulula kangangokuba wonke umntu unokulusebenzisa: yintoni “i lag yonxibelelwano” yomntu? I Lag ithetha ixesha lexesha phakathi kwento enye eyenzekayo kunye nenye into eyenzekayo. I lag yonxibelelwano bubude bexesha elidlula phakathi kokubuza umbuzo kunye nempendulo yalowo ubuzwe ngulowo ubuzayo.

Ngamanye amagama, xa ubuzwa umbuzo, kuthatha ixesha elingakanani ukuba umntu aphendule?

Xa umntu enokunika impendulo ekhawulezayo, ikuxelela ukuba unengqondo ekhawulezayo nengqondo emileyo, kuxhomekeka ukuba unika impendulo evakalayo kumbuzo. Impendulo ecothayo ikuxelela ukuba unokubanako okuncinci kunye nengqondo.

Amaqabane omtshato ane lag yonxibelelwano efanayo akuhlala kakuhle kunye. Kodwa apho iqabane elinye likhawuleza kwaye elinye licotha, imeko iya kuba nzima ukuyinyamezela iqabane elikhawulezayo kwaye kube lusizi kulowo ucothayo.

Ubunzima bomtshato bunokubakho ngenxa yokuba omnye umntu kusapho ubangela ukwahlukana kunxibelelwano phakathi kwamaqabane amabini. Oku kunokubangelwa sisalamane, njengomkhwekazi.

Thatha, umzekelo, umkhwekazi oza kuhlala nesibini esitshatileyo. Uyakhalaza kumfazi malunga nomyeni kwaye ekhalaza endodeni malunga nenkosikazi. Into elandelayo uyazi, umyeni nenkosikazi bayaxabana mihla le kwaye abanakuba savana. Kodwa babehlala bevana nje ngaphambi kokuba kufike umkhwekazi.

Unxibelelwano ababenalo phakathi kwabo lwaphulwe sisalamane, ngokucaphukisa iqabane ngalinye nokubabangela ukuba ngoku baxabane.

Enye indlela yokuqhawula unxibelelwano—nesona sizathu siphambili sokuqhawula umtshato—ngumona.

Umona ubangelwa kukungazithembi komntu onomona. Kusenokwenzeka okanye kungabikho sizathu sokuba loo mntu abe nomona.

Umntu onomona woyika imigca yonxibelelwano efihlakeleyo.

Umgca wonxibelelwano yindlela okanye indlela oluhamba ngayo unxibelelwano luhamba lusuka komnye umntu lusiya komnye, njengelizwi, ileta, i-imeyile okanye umnxeba.

Umntu onomona uya kwenza nantoni na ukuzama ukutyhila imigca yonxibelelwano efihlakeleyo.

Umzekelo, umfazi onomona unokuzijonga ngasese zonke i-imeyile zomyeni wakhe. Kwaye xa engakhangeli, usenokuthatha ifowuni yakhe kwaye amamele imiyalezo yakhe yefowuni, uzama ukufumanisa ukuba ngubani omfowunelayo.

Olu hlobo lwenyathelo lenza elinye iqabane livakalelwe kukuba imigca yakhe yonxibelelwano iyasikwa, kuba ucinga ukuba unelungelo lokuba nemigca yonxibelelwano evulekileyo, kodwa iqabane lakhe lomtshato linyanzelisa ukuba avale uninzi lwayo.

Iziphumo zempikiswano zingabangela ukucaphuka kakhulu.

Ngethamsanqa, iingxaki zonxibelelwano lomntu onomona zinokuncedwa ngeengcebiso ze Scientology.

Kukho ulwazi oluninzi kwi Scientology kwiindlela zokuphatha umtshato, kodwa nantsi ingcebiso esisiseko somtshato ophumelelayo: nxibelelana!

Ngokufunda indlela yokuba nonxibelelwano oluhle, olucocekileyo phakathi kwamaqabane kunye nendlela yokugcina unxubelelwano luhamba, umtshato uya kuphumelela.