Ngayinye yalezi zingxenye ezintathu zokuqonda, okusondelana, iqiniso kanye nokuxhumanana—zixhumene kakhulu enye kwenye. Uma kukhona ushintsho kwenye yazo, lezi ezinye nazo ziyashintsha. Ngoba ngayinye incike kakhulu kwenye, ungazithatha njengonxantathu: Uphakamisa noma wehlise elinye ikona lalo nxantathu (yehlisa noma khulisa ukusondelana noma iqiniso noma ukuxhumana) namanye amakona amabili nawo akhulisa noma aphansi. Lokhu kubizwa, ngakho-ke, kwi-Scientology i-A-R-C Triangle.

Ngaphandle kokusondelana, akukho okweqiniso noma ukuxhumana. Futhi, ngaphandle kweqiniso, akukho ukusondelana noma ukuxhumana. Futhi ngaphandle kokuxhumana, akukho ukusondelana noma iqiniso. Lokhu kungabonakala ngesibonelo sabantu ababili abangazani abangase bakuthole kunzima ukukhuluma omunye nomunye (akukho ukuxhumana), ngoba abazi lutho ngomunye (alikho iqiniso) futhi bayasola kancane noma bayasabana omunye (ukusondelana kuphansi).

Ukusondelana okuhle (ukuthanda noma uthando) kumele bube khona phakathi kwabantu ababili ngaphambi kokuthi bakhulume ndawonye nganoma yikuphi ukwethembana. Ngaphambi kokuthi abantu ababili babe neqiniso komunye nomunye, kufanele kube nokuxhumana okuthile phakathi kwabo. Kumele okungenani babonane, lokho nje, kuwuhlobo lokuxhumana. Ngaphambi kokuthi abantu ababili bazizwe beno kusondelana komunye nomunye, kumele, ngokwezinga elithile, babe neqiniso komunye nomunye. Akunakwenzeka ukuthanda into engekho.

Kwenzekani lapho elinye ikona likanxantathu lehliswa ngokuzumayo (izinga lokusondelana, iqiniso noma ukuxhumana sekwehlile)? Amanye amakhona amabili nawo azokwehla njengoba kungabonakala esibonelweni sabangani ababili ubungani babo buvele buhlukane ngokuzumayo. Lokhu kuthi ubungani bebuqinile, bobabili abangane bebehloniphana, bebamba iqhaza emisebenzini eminingi ejwayelekile ndawonye futhi bekhulumisana ngokukhululekile cishe nsuku zonke. Ungakusho ukuthi bane-“ARC” ephezulu ngomunye nomunye, noma, ngamanye amazwi, babeqonda kahle omunye nomunye. Kodwa-ke, ngolunye usuku lokhu kuqonda kwephuka ngokungazelelwe lapho omunye wabangani ababili ethola ukuthi omunye lo mngani wayesanda kuhlanganyela ngasese ngokwemfihlo emisebenzini engekho emthethweni. Lolu ushintsho olungazelelwe ngokushesha ngokweqiniso umuntu abenalo ngomngane wakhe. Ngaleli qiniso elisha, akasamthandi umngani wakhe, eqinisweni, ukuthanda sekuguquke kwaba inzondo—ukwehla okukhulu kokusondelana. Lokhu kubuye kuphethe ngokuthi azibe noma yikuphi ukuxhumana nomngani wakhe, angafuni ukukhuluma naye njengoba engasamethembi noma engasamthandi, ezizwa ekhashelwe.

Womathathu amakhona kanxantathu manje asehlile, ukwehla sekuqale ngokuphuka okungazelelwe kokusondelana phakathi kwalaba bangani ababili, isivumelwano esithi bazokuba neqiniso komunye nomunye sephukile. Uma noma iliphi ikhona likanxantathu lehla, amanye amabili nawo ayehla.

Imishado ingabhidlika ngenxa yokwehluleka ukuxhumana. Lapho ukuxhumana kuqala ukwehluleka, ukusondelana kuqala ukwehla. Abantu baqala ukuba nezimfihlo komunye nomunye bese ukusondelana kwabo kuqala ukuya phansi.

Kepha okubaluleke kakhulu ukwedlula izibonelo zokwehlisa amakhona kunxantathu, ungakhuphula izinga lokuqonda ngokuqala ukuphakamisa ikhona linye kunxantathu. Ngamanye amagama, kudingeka kuphela ukuthuthukisa ikhona elilodwa lika nxantathu ukuze uqale ukuthuthukisa amakhona amabili asele. Esibonelweni sabantu abangazani emgwaqweni, uma beqala ukukhuluma omunye komunye (ukuxhumana), bangathola ukuthi banokuthile okufana ngakho (amaqiniso) bese abasenakho ukusaba omunye komunye (ukusondelana okukhulisiwe) nokuqonda kwabo omunye nomunye kuqala ukwanda. Lokhu kuqonda okukhulisiwe phakathi kwalaba bantu bekungaqala ngokuphakamisa ikhona elilodwa le-triangle kulokhu, ukuxhumana.

Ukuxhumana yikhona okubaluleke kakhulu kulezi zingxenye ezintathu ze-ARC Triangle. Unxantathu ngokuyisisekelo uqala ngokuxhumana ngoba, ngokuxhumana, ungaletha ubumbano kanye neqiniso. Lapho uxhumana kakhulu nokuthile, kulunga kakhulu kuwe futhi okuphezulu kakhulu ukuhlangana kwakho nakho.

I-ARC Triangle ingasetshenziswa ngezindlela eziningi, ukusuka ukulungisa imishado ephukile kuya ekutholeni uhlelo olusha olwamukelwa inkampani. Noma iyiphi indawo yempilo yakho ingathuthukiswa ngokusebenzisa lo nxantathu, kusukela ekutheni uyithuluzi lokwandisa ukuqonda ukuthi kuyini khona ngokwako.