Njengoba sesifunde ngeFomula YokuXhumana, manje ake sihlole izingxenye zokuxhumana lapho sikwenza. Ngokwenza, sisho isenzo sokwenza okuthile, ngokungafani nemicabango, imibono noma amacebo.

Esifundweni sokuxhumana, sinalokho esikubiza ngokuthi “umjikelezo wokuxhumana.” Umjikelezo usho izinyathelo ezithathwa kusukela ekuqaleni kuze kube sekupheleni kwesenzo esithile. Ukwenza isibonelo, ungathi umjikelezo wokukhula kwesihlahla umi ngalendlela elandelayo: (a) Tshala imbewu, (b) uyinike amanzi, (c) lapho nje isiqalile ukukhula, inikeze ukukhanya kwelanga (d) qhubeka uyithelele ize ikhule ibe isitshalo noma isihlahla.

Ake sithathe isibonelo sabantu ababili bekhuluma bodwa. Ukuyigcina ilula, ake sibize laba bantu ababili u-A no-B. Kunomjikelezo wokuxhumana lapho u-A esho okuthile ku-B, u-B eqonda futhi ephindaphinda lokho okushiwo u-A bese u-B acknowledges u-A. U-A uthola i-acknowledgment futhi uyazi ukuthi uzwakele futhi waqondwa. Lowo ngumjikelezo wokuxhumana.

Manje ake sihlole ukuthi kwenzekani lapho ukuxhumana kweqiniso kwenzeka. Kunezingxenye zomjikelezo wokuxhumana okufanele zifakwe ukuze kube nokuxhumana okuhle.

Njengoba sifunde ngeFomula YokuXhumana, sidinga ukuba Nenhloso noKunaka, kanye noKuphindaphinda, ukuze ukuxhumana okuhle kwenzeke.

Esibonelweni sokuqala esiboniswe emfanekisweni ongezansi, i-intention A. U-A kumele aqale ahlose ukuthumela ukuxhumana ku-B. Uma lokhu kwenzeka, u-B kufanele abe noKunaka kwakhe kuqondiswe kulokho okuzoshiwo ngakho uyakuzwa.

Ukuze kube ngukuxhumana kweqiniso, Ukuphindaphinda ngo-B kumele kwenzeke ngomlayezo ovela ku-A. Masisho ukuthi u-A uthi, “Yimoto ebomvu leyo.” U-B kufanele aphindaphinde lokho obekushiwo futhi angacabangi ukuthi u-A uthe, “Lokho akukude kakhulu.”

U-A, yebo, ukuqala futhi athule ukuxhumana, kufanele ukuthi anikeze Ukunakwa kwasekuqaleni ku-B. Futhi u-B kumele anikeze inhloso ethile kulokhu kuxhumana, okungenani ukulalela noma ukwamukela.

Ngakho-ke, sinakho kokubili Imbangela (A) noMphumela (B) ne-Intention noKunaka.

Enye ingxenye yalokhu ebaluleke kakhulu Ukuphindwa. Singakubiza futhi lokhu “ngesivumelwano.”

Inani lesivumelwano esikhona phakathi kuka-A no-B esibonelweni sokuxhumana esinikezwe ngenhla sibonisa ukuthi bavumelana kangakanani.

Ake sithathe isibonelo sabantu ababili abakhuluma ngomculo abawuthandayo bobabili. Kukhona ukuphindaphinda okunamandla nokuvumelana okuningi okufanele kuqale ngakho futhi bangalandelana kalula ngenkathi bekhuluma ngezingoma abazithandayo nabazilalelayo.

Kepha cabanga, ngokwesibonelo, umuntu oye waphila impilo yakhe yonke enkangala futhi engakaze alubone ulwandle noma ichibi. Umuntu othile okhuluma naye ngezigemegeme ezihlangabezane nesikebhe esincane olwandle olunesivunguvungu angaba nobunzima ekutholeni ukuphindwa kwalokho obekushiwo, njengoba indoda yasehlane ingakaze ilubone nolwandle. Bobabili laba bantu babengeke babelane ngesivumelwano kuze kube yilapho indoda yasogwadule ikhonjiswa isithombe solwandle noma, okungcono, ifilimu noma ividiyo yalokho.

Ngakho-ke sithola umthetho wokuthi u-B, njengoMphumela, kumele aphindaphinde lokho okwashiwo ngu-A, njengoba Imbangela, noma ngabe kuyinto encane nje, ukwenza ukuthi isinyathelo sokuqala somjikelezo wokuxhumana senzeke.

Lapho u-B eqonda okushiwo u-A futhi emnika i-acknowledgment, bese u-A eba Umphumela futhi kufanele aphindaphinde lokho okuqhamuke ku-B ukuze ukuxhumana kuphothulwe. Uma lokhu kwenziwa, kungenzeka ukuthi u-A no-B bazwana kahle.

Ngokuthatha isibonelo esingenhla, ake sithi ukhombise indoda yogwadule ezinye izithombe ngisho nefilimu emfushane yolwandle. Ungaletha ukuKuphindaphinda kwalokho obukhuluma ngakho futhi ukwazi ukuqhubeka nokukhulumisana naye, uchaze ukuthi umoya ungawenza kanjani ukuthi amanzi ahambe ngamagagasi, njengoba nje nomoya ungenza ukuthi izihlabathi zogwadule ziguquke. Uthola lokhu athi, “Kulungile, ngiyaqonda.”

Uma lokhu Kuphindaphinda kungenzeki ngo-B bese kuphinda kwenziwe ngu-A, umjikelezo wokuxhumana uhlala ungaphelele.

Uma, ngokwesibonelo, u-B engaphindaphindi lokho okushiwo ngu-A nhlobo, isinyathelo sokuqala seFomula YokuXhumana asitholwa futhi ukuchaza okukhulu nokuphikisana kungenzeka.

Ake sithi lo muntu ogwadule ucabanga ukuthi ukhuluma ngekamela uma umtshela ukuthi uhambe kanjani ngesikebhe olwandle nokuthi isikebhe sihamba sibheke ngapha nangapha. Masithi akakuPhindaphindi nhlobo. Ngakho-ke uma umtshela ukuthi ungavele ubophe isikebhe usishiye lapho, lapho usuqedile futhi ungalokothi usondle noma usiphuzise (njengoba enzela ikamela lakhe nsuku zonke lapho eseqedile ukuligibela), angahle aphatheke kabi azame ukuthola ukuthi lingahlala kanjani liphila ngaphandle kokunakekelwa okufanele.

Ngemuva kwalokho, uma u-A engakuphindanga lokho okushiwo ngu-B, lapho u-B eYimbangela futhi ekhuluma no-A, lokhu kungaletha inkinga efanayo futhi kwenze umjikelezo wokuxhumana ungapheleli. Futhi, lapho futhi, kuzoba nokulahleka kokuPhindaphinda.

Isibonelo, indoda yasogwadule iqala ukukhuluma nomuntu ngezinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zezihlabathi ogwadule lapho umuntu engazi lutho ngendaba futhi engakaze abone ngisho nehlane.

Lapho zonke izinyathelo zomjikelezo wokuxhumana seziphelile, kuzoholela ekutheni bobabili u-A kanye no-B baqondane futhi bazwane. Kepha uma izinyathelo zishiywa zingaphelele, sizoba hhayi no-A noma no-B, noma kokubili, silinde ukuthi izinyathelo ziqedwe. Ngale ndlela, ukuxhumana kuyaxaka futhi kube yingozi.

Isibonelo, uma ubuza omunye umuntu ukuthi yisiphi isikhathi nokuthi umuntu akakuphendulanga, ubuyozizwa uphatheke kabi ngokungakwazi ukuqeda umjikelezo wokuxhumana.

Izinyathelo ezingaqediwe zomjikelezo wokuxhumana ziletha lokho okungabizwa ngokuthi “ukuphendula indlala.” Umuntu olinde isibonakaliso sokuthi ukuxhumana kwakhe kutholiwe uzoqala ukwamukela noma yikuphi ukuxhumana okuza kuye. Lapho umuntu elinde isikhathi eside kakhulu ukuthola izimpendulo ezingafiki, noma yiluphi uhlobo lwempendulo, oluvela noma yikuphi, luyokwamukelwa nguye njengomzamo wokwenza ukungabi nazimpendulo.

Ngakho-ke ekuxhumaneni okuhle, kubalulekile ukuthi ngaso sonke isikhathi uqedele umjikelezo wokuxhumana futhi ufake ingxenye ngayinye yezindlela ZokuXhumana.

Kepha kungadala nokukhathazeka lapho kunikezwa impendulo engahlobene nalokhu okukhulunywa ngakho, njengalapho umuntu ekhuluma nje noma ekhuluma izinto ezingathi shu noma lapho kunganikezwa mpendulo nhlobo. Cabanga uma ubuza umuntu ukuthi yisiphi isikhathi bese athi kuyashisa futhi uzizwa engakhululekile.

UkuXhumana uqobo kulimaza kuphela uma ukuxhumana okuvela kwiMbangela kungazelelwe futhi kungahambisani nalokhu okwenzekayo noma okuxoxwa ngakho ngaleso sikhathi. Lapho lokhu kwenzeka, izingxenye ezimbili zefomula, Ukunaka ne-Intention, azinakwa.

Isibonelo salokhu kungaba lapho ukhuluma neqembu labantu ukuthi ibukeka kahle kangakanani insimu nazo zonke izimbali nezihlahla bese kuthi ngokuzumayo omunye wabantu eqenjini aqale ukukhononda ngokwenyuka kwentengo kawoyela nokuthi kubiza kangakanani ukushayela imoto yakhe.

“Intshiseko” nayo iyingxenye ebalulekile yokuxhumana. Isintshisekelo kusho ukuthi unaka okuthile. Okuthakazelisayo kusho ukuthi wenza izinto ukuthola nokubamba ukunakwa kothile.

Ekuxhumaneni okuhle, u-A unentshisekelo futhi une-Intention yokuthakazelisa u-B. U-B, okumele kukhulunywe naye, uyaheha. Ngokufanayo, u-B, lapho exhumana, unesithakazelo kanti u-A uyathakazelisa. Lapha sinakho, njengengxenye yeFomula YokuXhumana—kepha okuyingxenye engabalulekile kakhulu—ushintsho oluqhubekayo olwenziwa ngababili u-A no-B kusukela ekubeni nentshisekelo kuya ekuthakazeliseni.

Imbangela inentshisekelo. Umphumela uyathakazelisa.

Okubaluleke kakhulu iqiniso lokuthi injongo ka-A yokutholwa ngu-B yenza ukuthi kudingekile ukuthi u-A abe kabili (akwazi ukuphindwa). Uma u-A engaphinaaphindeki nhlobo, ngakho-ke ukuxhumana kwakhe ngeke kwamukelwa ngu-B, ngoba u-B, ongakwazi ukwenza i-Duplicate u-A, akakwazi ukuthola ukuxhumana.

Njengesibonelo salokhu, ake sithi u-A ukhuluma ngesiShayina, kepha u-B uyakwazi ukuqonda isiFulentshi kuphela. Kuyadingeka ukuthi u-A azenzele ukuthi aphindaphindwe ngokukhuluma isiFulentshi ku-B, oqonda isiFulentshi kuphela.

Noma, ngokwesibonelo, uma ubukhuluma nomuntu osemncane ukuze umchazele ukuthi into isebenza kanjani, ungasebenzisa amagama alula nezingcezu zento noma imidwebo (imidwebo elula) ukuze akwazi ukulandela bese aphindaphinde lokho okushoyo.

Ngokufingqa, uma zonke izingxenye zeFomula YokuXhumana zifakiwe futhi umjikelezo wokuxhumana uqobo uqediwe, unokuxhumana okuhle futhi uzoqondwa abanye. Lena indlela eya enjabulweni nasempumelelweni.

Futhi khumbula, umuntu ufile njengoba engakwazi ukuxhumana. Uyaphila njengoba ekwazi ukuxhumana.