Kube khona isithako esingekho esifundweni nasekusetshenzisweni kobuhlobo nomphakathi selokhu nje lendaba yaba khona. Lokushiyeka kungenye yezizathu ezibaluleke kakhulu ezenze ukuthi ubuhlobo nomphakathi bungapheleli njengesifundo futhi, ngenxa yalokho, okuthile okungaba yinkinga kunoma ngubani osebenzisa ubudlelwane nomphakathi.

Uma-nje yisiphi lesithako esishiyekile? Iqiniso.

Iqiniso lisho izinto esizibonayo (siziqaphele noma sisazi) ngezinzwa zethu, ezifana nokubona, ukuzwa, ukuhogela nokuthinta. Lezi yizinto eziyizo ngokoqobo. Empeleni iqiniso liyisivumelwano kulokho abantu abakubonayo kanye nolwazi ngendalo yonke. Kuyisilinganiso sesivumelwano okufinyelelwe ngaso phakathi kwabantu. Kungenzeka ukuthi uyavumelana nalabo bantu abasondelene nawe endaweni yangakini noma awuvumelani nabo, futhi njengoba nivumelana noma ningavumelani, uwena owazi iqiniso lakho.

Isibonelo, uma wena nomunye umuntu nisebhishi futhi nobabili nithokokela umoya nephunga elimnandi nesibhakabhaka esikhanyayo futhi nivumelana ukuthi kumnandi ukubakhona, nobabili ngabe niyazwana ngeqiniso lenu.

Lezo zinto wena nabangane bakho enivumelana ngazo ziyiqiniso. Lezo zinto eningavumelani ngazo azilona iqiniso.

Isibonelo, uma ubunenjongo yokuba ngumdansi, kepha abazali bakho bebefuna ukuthi ube udokotela futhi bebezimisele ukukusekela lokho, lokhu kungahle kubangele ukucasuka. Injongo yakho kuzobe kungelona iqiniso kubo ngakho-ke bangase bangakunaki, benze sengathi ibingekho futhi bangakusekeli ekufezeni leyo njongo. Kulokhu, awungeke ube iqiniso ngokoqobo kubo. Futhi abazali bakho bangase bame ukuba iqiniso ngokoqobo kuwena.

Kwatholakala kwi-Scientology ukuthi iqiniso lixhumene (okuhlobene noma okuhlanganisiwe) nezinye izingxenye ezimbili (izingxenye ezakha okuphelele). Lezo zithako ezimbili ezihlanganiswa nalokhu ukusondelana nokuxhumana.

Ngokuthi ukusondelana sisho “impendulo ngokozwelo.” Sisho ukuthi “umuzwa wokuthanda noma wokungabi nawo, umuzwa wobumnandi noma umuzwa ongemnandi mayelana nempilo.”

Ukusondelana kuhlobene kakhulu nendawo okuyo. Empeleni, ukusondelana kungachazwa ngokuthi “ukucabangela ukubakude,” ngoba abantu abehlukene kakhulu noma abasondelene kakhulu banezindlela ezehlukene abakhombisa ngazo ukusondelana omunye nomunye. Cabanga ngomuntu othanda ukuba nayeendaweni efanayo futhi uqhathanise nomuntu ongathandi ukuba naye noma ozama ukumgwema. Lokhu kuhlobene nokusondelana kwakho nalabo bantu.

Njengesibonelo, uma ungahlangana nomngane efika esikhumulweni sezindiza osekuyisikhathi eside ningabonani, cishe uzombingelela ngentshiseko futhi nisingathane umange. Lokho ukusondelana okukhulu. Njengesibonelo esiphikisayo, ukube ububizelwe ehhovisi likathishanhloko esikoleni sakho futhi aziwe njengomuntu oqinile futhi ongenabungane, ungahle wesabe futhi ukuthole kunzima ukuba segumbini elilodwa naye. Ukusondelana okuphansi kakhulu.

UkuXhumana kuwushintshana (ukunika nokwamukela okuthile phakathi kwabantu) kwemibono lapho nikhona.

Lezi zingxenye ezintathu—ukusondelana, iqiniso kanye nokuxhumana—zenza i-ARC (ebizwa nge-A-R-C) Triangle ye-Scientology futhi ndawonye lezi zakha izingxenye zokuqonda.

Uma ikhona elilodwa lalonxantathu (ake sithi A) ukhushuliwe, amanye amabili nawo azokhuphuka. Uma ikhona elilodwa lehlisiwe, namanye amabili nawo azokwehla.

Ngakho-ke, ngokusondelana okuphezulu, futhi iqiniso liphakeme nokuxhumana kuphezulu. Ngokusondelana okuphansi futhi neqiniso libaphansi kanye nokuxhumana kuphansi.

Uma i-R iphakeme noma iphansi kanjalo no-A kukanye no-C bazophakama noma babe phansi.

Ukwenza isibonelo, lapho kufanele uye ehhovisi likathishanhloko. Noma amahlebezi angaba ukuthi ungumuntu olukhuni futhi ongenabungani, ungasebenzisa i-A-R-C Triangle Uma uqalaza ehhovisi likathishanhloko ungabona lokho okunganikeza ithuba lokudala iqiniso. Ake sithi ubone izindebe ezimbalwa eshalofini lakhe futhi waqaphela ukuthi ezokuba ivolontiya lokulwisa umlilo kukanye nomsebenzi ovelele emphakathini. Ngokuveza kwakho intshisekelo futhi umbuze ngale miklomelo, uzokhuphula ukuxhumana. Uthishanhloko angahle akhulume ngalemicimbi futhi ungathola ukuthi ninentshisekelo efanayo ekulondolozeni amahlathi emphakathini wangakini. Ukusondelana phakathi kwenu nobabili kuyakhula ngokuxhumana futhi nobabili ninokuvumelana (iqiniso) ngendaba ethile, ngakho ne-A-R-C iyanda futhi lokhu kuletha ukuqonda okungcono.

Kunjalo nje nge-ARC Triangle. Iyaphakama futhi yehle njengento eyodwa. Umuntu akakwazi ukuba no-R ophansi kube u-A no-C bephakeme.

Ubuhlobo nomphakathi kufanele kube yindlela yokwenza ukuxhumana kwakho kube nabanye. Budlulisa imibono. Ake sithi uzama ukuxhumana ngeqiniso (R) eliguqulwe ngandlela thile, okusho ukuthi okungelona iqiniso. Esimweni esinjalo ukuxhumana ekuqaleni kuzofinyeleleka, kepha-ke kuzobuya kuwe ngendlela embi ngenxa yeqiniso eliguquliwe.

Isibonelo, umshushumbisi wezidakamizwa okhuthaza “izinjabulo ezikhulisa ingqondo” zomuthi omusha kubafundi besikole bangaqale bamlalele abanye abafundi. Kodwa-ke, kungekudala lomshushumbisi wezidakamizwa uzobikwa emaphoyiseni bese ayambopha.

Empilweni mhlawumbe uye wabona izibonelo eziningi zezikhungo, amabhizinisi kanye nabasebenza ngoku ngathembeki abagqugquzela imikhiqizo yabo ngezethembiso ababenga hlosile ukuzigcina. Imiyalezo yabo ingahle ifinyelele ekuqaleni, kepha ngenxa yomonakalo ewubangayo, bagcina sebene nkinga yangempela—ukumangalelwa kwezomthetho, ukuboshwa bese uhlu luqhubeka. Ukuqamba amanga kuyohlale kubangela ubunzima kulabo abanga thembekile.

Konke lokuhlobana phakathi kokusondelana, iqiniso nokuxhumana nokuthi konke kuncike futhi kuthintana kanjani inqubekelaphambili kwi-Scientology. Kwakungatholakali kubantu ababamba iqhaza ekuqaleni kobuhlobo nomphakathi. Ngakho-ke bakhuluma futhi basakhuluma amanga ikakhulukazi.

Ochwepheshe bakudala be-PR bakuthola kulula ukuvele baqambe amanga. Bebengasho ukuthi okuthile kungcono noma kukhulu kunalokhu okuyikho ngempela, njengodunyinyiswa kwesekisi lamasondo amathathu. Noma basakaze amanga ngasese noma bakhulume kabi ngomuntu ukuze bonakalise idumela lakhe. Abasebenzi bakudala be-PR baye bazama zonke izinhlobo zezindlela ukumangaza noma ukwenza abantu babe nentshisekelo kulokho abakushoyo. Futhi indlela elula yokukwenza kwaba ngokuguqula “amaqiniso” ukwenza okuthile kubonakale kukhulu futhi kube ngcono noma ukwenza okuthile kubi kakhulu kunalokho obekuyikho empeleni.

Isibonelo, “ezempilo yengqondo” amadoda abesebenzela ubuhlobo nomphakathi enza “ama-statistics,” abantu abagula ngokwengqo ngaphandle kokuxhumana nalokho okukhona noma okwenzekile ngempela. Isitatimende se-PR sokuthi “AmaNgisi ayisishiyagalolunye kwabayishumi nanhlanu azohlanya ngesikhathi esithile sempilo yabo” angamanga aphelele. Lezi zibalo zokubonisa isimo ezivela kuma-PRs zisetshenziselwa ukuthonya izinhlaka zohulumeni ezenza umthetho ukuthi bathole imali ngokushesha yezinhlelo zabo “zempilo yezengqondo.”

Izindlela imali nabantu besetshenziswa ngayo ngabasebenzi bobuhlobo nomphakathi, noma ngabe baqashwe ngundlovukayiphikiswa, inkosi, umongameli noma inkampani, kukhombisa ukuthi basetshenziselwe ukusabalalisa amanga ayingozi futhi amabi.

Isibonelo, umongameli wase-US wake wanikeza izibalo ezimbili ezihlukene zokuthi izindleko zikahulumeni zikhuphuka ngamalini ngonyaka—futhi konke lokhu kungakapheli izinyanga ezimbili nje kuphela. Kusobala ukuthi lomsebenzi wobuhlobo nomphakathi wayezama ukuthonya I-Congress.

I-PR ikhuthaza ngemoto yakamuva njenge-“Moto Yekhulu Leminyaka” noma umgqugquzeli wokutshuza emoyeni ekhangisa “i-parachute engakaze yehluleke ukuvuleka” nezinye izinhlobo eziningi zemicimbi zonke ziyizenzo zobuhlobo nomphakathi—futhi eziningi zigcwele amanga.

Uthatha iphephandaba noma ulalele abantu emgwaqweni futhi okuzwayo futhi ukubone ama-PR—PR—PR—konke amanga.

Amandla amakhulu amaphephandaba, amaphephabhuku, umsakazo, i-TV kanye nokuxhumana kwanamuhla kwe-“mass media” kulawulwa ngabasebenzi ama-PRs amaqembu afuna inzuzo enkulu nokuphathwa ngendlela ekhethekile yize kungalimaza abanye abantu abaningi. Futhi ukwenza lokhu kwenzeke ama-PRs akulawula abezindaba ngamanga.

Futhi-ke, ubuhlobo nomphakathi buye baguquka “indlela enhle kakhulu yokuqamba amanga”—indlela yokukholisa noma ukuncenga abantu ukuba bakholelwe noma yini eshiwo yi-PR.

Kwenza izwe lapho abantu abaningi bezizwa bekholelwa kancane ekuthembekeni nasebuhleni bobuntu. Inciphise amathemba wokufeza izinhloso eziphakeme, yenze buthaka ukuthembeka kwabantu emazweni abo futhi yakwenza kwaba nzima kakhulu ukuhlukanisa okulungile nokungalungile.

Kungani kunjalo?

Lapho othile esebenzisa ukuxhumana ukukhuluma amanga kuphela, khona-ke ukusondelana kuyehla bese uthola inzondo. Lokho kungenxa yokuthi i-R (iqiniso) libhujisiwe. Isibonelo, ezweni elisebenzisa isankanhlu ukwenza abantu balandele imiyalo lapho bengafuni noma uma abantu bebona ukuthi akulungile, abantu banokucasuka kakhulu futhi baqale ukuzizwa benenzondo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, inzondo ingaphenduka iziphithiphithi nempi.

Ubuhlobo nomphakathi obukhuthaza kuphela okungokoqobo okungamanga, bese u-A abe phansi, no-C ngokunjalo kuzobuyela kunoma ngubani okusebenzisayo ngendlela engemnandi neze.

Ngakho-ke isifundo sokuqala ongasifunda esizokusiza ukuthi usebenzise i-PR ngokuphepha UKUGCINA IQINISO ELIPHAKEME.

Amanga amaningi owasebenzisayo kubuhlobo nomphakathi kuzokwenza ukuthi i-PR ibe nomphumela omubi, hhayi kwabanye kuphela kepha nakuwe.

Futhi ngakho-ke umthetho:

UNGALOKOTHI USEBENZISE AMANGA KU-PR.

Inkinga kubuhlobo nomphakathi, kungaba, kwaba ukuthi bekuntuleka iqiniso. Amanga, kahle kahle, kuyi qiniso elingekho.

Inkinga nge-PR kuye kwaba IQINISO!

Uma uthola indatshana ngesivulamakani esisha esivula amakani kalula, futhi ufuna ukuthi “Ingane ingakwazi ukusisebenzisa,” qala uthole ukuthi lokho kuyiqiniso. Nikeza ingane isivulamakani bese uthi mayivule ikani. Bese uyathola ukuthi, iyakwazi, kuyiqiniso. Uma-nje usungakukhuthaza ukuthi “Ingane ingakwazi ukusisebenzisa.” Kepha ungakwenzi kube ngaphezu kwalokho okuyikho ngokukubiza ngokuthi yi-“Isivulamakani Sekhulu Leminyaka.” Lokho ngeke kuxhumanise.

Ukuthi imisakazo, ama-TV nabezindaba bathumela imiyalezo ngaso sonke isikhathi akusho ukuthi bayaxhumana nanoma ngubani. Ukuxhumana kwangempela kusho ukuthi umyalezo empeleni uye wafinyelela kothile.

Noma yimaphi amanga azonciphisa u-C (ukuxhumana) noma maduze nje amuqede ngokuphelele u-C ngoba akusekho ukwethembana noma ukusondelana.

Ngakho-ke ikhona indlela yokwazi nokusebenzisa ubuhlobo nomphakathi. Kepha uma umuntu esebenzisa i-PR yamanga kuphela, uzodala izinkinga eziningi futhi kwayena uqobo alahlekelwe yinoma ikuphi ukubaluleka noma ukwaziswa.

Kepha uma ugcina iqiniso futhi usebenzisa ukusondelana okuphakeme, uzokwazi ukuxhumana futhi ukwazi ukuthumela umyalezo wakho.

Ngokwazi lokhu, ubuhlobo nomphakathi buba yisihloko esiwusizo kakhulu.

Into elandelayo okudingeka uyazi ukuthi “ubani” noma yimuphi “umphakathi” ozama ukuxhumana nawo. Futhi ngokwazi lolu lwazi, ungenza amaphrojekthi akho ukuthi enziwe ngempumelelo.